Thoughtful ideas to include everyone and bring your blended family together on your wedding day in Spain.
Every family is unique with its own shared stories, history and rituals. When two families come together at a wedding those are added to and new ones may be created. The wedding ceremony is a great opportunity to acknowledge and include family members so that everyone is a part of the transition and to set a positive tone for a shared future.
I'm a Professional Wedding Celebrant in Spain, I create personalised wedding ceremonies for all sorts of weddings in Alicante, Murcia & Valencia and across the Costa Blanca.
Officiating a wedding ceremony that includes children and family from previous relationships is something that I derive great joy from. Having experienced a blended family wedding first-hand myself when I was younger I can draw on personal experience and understanding.
Finding creative ways to help everyone feel valued and a part of things, whilst acknowledging the significance of the event and the emotions that can be intrinsically linked to this new chapter in people's lives is something I approach with care and patience.
Inclusive Wedding Ideas to Get You thinking
Here are some ideas to start your thinking process about how you might include blended family members so that everyone might feel acknowledged valued and a part of the day as well as your shared future.
These ideas and suggestions are here as guide, some may suit your unique family dynamics better than others, there are no rights or wrongs, it’s very much about you and yours deciding how best to come together to enjoy your day.
Family Ideas and Input
If you can, why not discuss it with everyone? Either as a group or individually? Do they have any ideas about how they might like to participate or things that they would like to do?
If, as is often the case, they haven’t given it much thought, you could gently suggest some ideas. Be sure to tell them how much it would mean to you both if they participated even in the smallest of ways.
Consider The Dress Code
What people will be expected to wear can be the most contentious part of any event but particularly with young adults. The more flexible you can be reduces the potential for conflict. Instead of particular garments or styles, would a more flexible colour theme be easier? If people are uncomfortable with what they are wearing it is likely to openly show and can impact how they feel.
Give Everyone a Role
By giving everyone a job this makes sure they are all directly involved. From presenting the rings, accompanying you to the ceremony space, holding your flowers during the ceremony, giving a reading etc.
Photographs
It’s good to think about the photographs that you would like taken on the day. Of course various group shots are the order of the day. But, consider an individual picture of child and parent. Just them and you. It can mean an awful lot to them as you are specifically recognising your special bond.
Readings
A popular choice is for a member of the family to give a reading during the ceremony. This could be a poem, lines from a song or film or sometimes something that they have written themselves just for the occasion.
Vows/Promises/Commitments to the family
Enhancing your vow exchange with promises to your family can really create inclusivity and deep resonance with everyone. Weaving promises and pledges that bind you all into one harmonious clan.
Firstly share your personal vows for each other, take your time and ensure the focus is on you two alone in the moment.
Then it can be hugely impactful if you expand the vows that you both make to express personalised commitments or promises to your family members and children present.
This is a chance to communicate your loyalty to your family, sharing warmth and love.
Regardless of the passing time, let this moment spark recognition within the family circle.
Consider framing these promises as a lasting tribute to love and togetherness, adorning the heart of your home.
Commemorative Certificate Signing
At the end of my Spanish ceremonies I offer couples the opportunity to sign a ceremony certificate. It’s a good photo opportunity and sometimes they ask friends to be witnesses. For a small blended family asking all of the children to sign the certificate can create a powerful moment in the day.
Inclusive Symbolic Rituals
Adding meaning, interest and fun to your blended family Spanish wedding
Many couples choose to include a symbolic wedding ritual in their ceremony.
Rituals in weddings, although increasingly popular today have played a part in weddings across the globe for centuries and often their origins are deeply rooted in culture, history and folklore.
Most rituals can be adapted and these ones particularly lend themselves to weddings with blended families.
Handfasting Ritual
Most have heard of the phrase "tying the knot" and it is from here that this ancient ritual has its roots.
In this ritual cords or ribbons are loosely placed over the hands of the bride and groom and are fastened at the end.
Invite family, children or friends to each add a ribbon over your hands
Use ribbons to match your wedding theme or bright colours
Sand Ceremony
This popular and contemporary wedding ritual choice with real visual impact has great opportunity to include family members.
This colourful ritual is enjoyed by children who feel special taking part by adding their own sand to the vessel.
The sands symbolise the merging or mixing of the two lives , personalities or two families into a marriage.
The layers are blended but can still be seen separately and distinctly. Each family member can be involved perhaps with their own coloured sand.
Use different coloured sands - to match your wedding theme, football team or just because you like them.
Use shaped vessels ( heart jars etc)
Maybe a personalised Vase or jar
Use a shadow or box frame or a personalised one
Wine Box Ceremony
This is a popular inclusion in my recent weddings. A special bottle of wine is enclosed in a wooden box and sealed (sometimes with nails or a padlock).
The box is then opened together on a future anniversary, maybe 1 year or 5 or whatever the couple choose as their milestone.
A nice addition is for the couple to write letters to each other to also be included in the sealed box. This can be extended to children and family members where they write a message/wishes/hopes for the future.
Opening the box in the future and reading the words written for you from that day can be a wonderful experience and a great way to mark an anniversary.
There's lot of options with the wine boxes, various styles and colours can be sourced and they can also be personalised with dates and names.
If you’d like to include a ritual in your wedding ceremony but are not sure how to source the things you’ll need, ask your wedding celebrant they should be able to advise you or can often source them locally on your behalf.
Conclusion
A wedding in Spain should be a joyous occasion celebrated with those that you love most. Blended families bring great happiness, but can also have their challenges particularly in their early days or during big life transitions. As with most things, a little thought and planning can go a long way to helping everyone feel included, a welcome part of things and able to join on the day.
Every family is unique with its own dynamics, some time thinking and communicating together can help to surface peoples feelings and any concerns so that you might respond flexibly to accommodate their needs.
Your wedding Ceremony can be all the more joyous with the inclusion of the family in the elements of the ceremony itself and can be an enjoyable, memorable event for everyone to chat about long after the day itself.
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